The Stare Down

I think God is teaching me kindness.
Kindness to those I almost mostly agree with –
Except for maybe that one little thing, or two.
Are they little things?
They feel big to me.
How can I overlook little big things?
How can I make others see it my way –
The right way?
How can I make them change?

(Ah, hello, Pride! I thought you were here somewhere.)

Therapists call it Radical Acceptance.
Twelve Step groups call it Steps One, Two, Three.
I’m calling it Kindness –
Kindness to those I almost mostly agree with,
And Humility
because I could be wrong.

Can we both live together peacefully?
Joyfully?
Fruitfully?
Kindly?
Will the world see anger and division?
Selfishness?
Pride?
Humility?

I can’t.
God can.
I think I’ll let Him.

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My pleasure

Don’t look now, but I think God is redeeming my Sundays. Don’t look! You might scare it away!

I’m looking anyway.

Since teen-hood, my worst mood, my angriest mood, would pop up on Sundays. Mean, irritated, and bothered. Not a bless-ed day! It wasn’t/isn’t every Sunday, but if I was/am feeling mean, irritated, and bothered, it must be Sunday.

I have been aware, even since teen-hood, that this is a pattern for me. Spiritual warfare? Just plain tired? Dunno. I may never know.

But I do know that I feel differently. There’s been a shift.

It may be because I am having some family visit for lunch on Sundays much more often. As a mom of grown kids, it is so wonderful to have them visit. Sunday lunch isn’t a burden, it’s a joy! I never really understood this before when I’d hear of someone’s mom fixing Sunday lunch for her grown kids (and their kids).

Granted, I’m not actually COOKING this lunch very often. That’s what pizza coupons are for! But I try to have some treats available, etc. And every now and then break out a chicken pie or meatloaf.

I guess my point is that I think having family over for lunch on Sundays (historically my lowest days) actually energies me, an introvert, instead of depleting me. Which is totally a new thing. Praise God for new things!

Toil and Spin

I don’t know why, but I’ve been watching a lot of Youtube videos on the topic of fashion for those over 50. How to stay “current and engaged.” That is, how to NOT look like you’ve given up.

Why do I care? Why am I suddenly so interested in how much ankle I’m supposed to show between my pant hem and bootie? (about an inch, give or take) (and bootie now means short boots, not your buttinski). The biggest crime being that your hem and booties should juuuust touch. Your hem can either be above the top of your shoe (about an inch) or way below if you are determined to wear boot-cut jeans (but not dragging the ground).

Hey, I don’t make the rules, I just … watch hours and hours of videos about them.

Again, why?

My guess is that I’m feeling a little lost with what my style is. I know this happens to us when we go through some kind of change. My husband is now retired. I have lost some weight – the parts of me I was trying to hide before with longer, looser clothes are under control. And suddenly I’m looking around to see what folks are wearing these days.

I’ve put in the research and determined something. Fashion is fun, fluid, and fickle. Today’s hemline will absolutely not be “on trend” next year. I wonder what the term for on trend will be next year? It’s probably already changed. Nothing kills a trend like it becoming common to the older masses. Me, that is.

But that still leaves me with the question of what to wear today. I’m not really sure. I love the classics … a white shirt, jeans, flats. As far as hemlines go… I dunno. Boot-cut and just above the ground? Or the newer straight leg and about an inch above the top of the shoe? Hmm…I do have nice ankles… I guess I have just as much right to kill a trend as anyone.

Y’all have a good one.

burnt toast

I woke up at 4 a.m. today with my eye sealed shut. I’ve had a cold for about a week and I guess it’s moving on to my eyes before it says goodbye. How sweet…

Other than that I feel really good! It’s amazing how good you feel after you haven’t felt good for a few days.

In stark contrast, I’m reading Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. Dang. Life in a German concentration camp. I keep thinking about his experience as I reflect on my frame of mind when I felt miserable with my cold; wrapped in blankets, sipping hot tea, warm and dry and fed and safe, yet miserable. I know, I know, all suffering is suffering to different degrees. But, really (pause to reflect). This book has me feeling my need to pray for patient endurance for whatever God may plan for me to experience – from a cold to who-knows-what? God knows what. Aaaand that’s what matters.

Y’all have a good one!

Use a Thimble

Hey O! I’ve got a cold and cough today, so I’m staying home from church. But I’ve found a great podcast to listen to later, “Does the Bible Predict the End of the World?” by The Bible Project. I love these guys. I learn so much from them.

The rest of the day will be us polishing off the Thanksgiving leftovers. Those pies won’t be hurting anybody anymore… ha…ha.. My favorite things to eat this year at t-giving (aside from the pies) were the garlic-stuffed olives and deviled eggs. Such a delightful pairing.

I think doing a little needle and thread hand-sewing today while talking some philosophy/psychology/theology/TikTok with my son who comes over for Sunday lunch will definitely be the highlight of this day, and my longest sentence so far! I’ve got a few topics swimming around in my head that will be fun to explore with him. How do these kids know so much about so many things? It amazes me.

Y’all have a great day!

Cannonball

“And may the Master pour on the love so it fills your lives and splashes over on everyone around you,…” Eugene Peterson, The Message, Thessalonians 3.

Yes, please. God’s love filling us so much it splashes over on everyone around us. I love this image. I want to be this vessel, this overflowing splashing bottomless ice-tea tumbler of God’s love.

Maybe sometimes I am that vessel. Praise God when/if I am! But I have the feeling I am splashing a lot of vinegar, too. At least, it feels like my splashes are less sweet and more bitter lately.

Can I be both? Is it possible to hold both sweet and bitter in one cup? Interesting thought… well, to me it’s interesting. And maybe that’s the issue. What I consider to be an interesting thought is a criticizing waste-of-time thought to some. Okay, I’ll just say it. I don’t really fit in right now in some of my circles. My sweet is often bitter.

Is it really bitter? or is it perceived as bitter? Probably yes to both.

Even so, God was very kind to me this morning. A friend reached out to me and said something in passing that was shockingly affirming about God’s call in my life.

Just when I need it, when I feel most misplaced, God sends those affirmations to me. He has done this throughout my life. This in itself gets me overflowing with gratitude. I hope it makes a huge, sweet splash.

Tablecloth or Placemats?

Hey, O! A new grandbaby is being born to our family today. Exciting! She’s a super premie, so not sure when we’ll actually be able to meet her. Plus covid is making the whole process very unfamily-like. But I am grateful for the good medical care available.

Also, today is Thanksgiving prep day – the day to make all the dishes that can be made in advance. I don’t have much of that on my list for today, especially since we’ll be eating our Thanksgiving meal later in the day than usual. Actually, it will be dark. And to me, dark means pajama time. I’m really going to have to dig deep to stay upright and clothed for the meal. Exactly how old am I??

Do you know what else I’m going to do today? Besides window shop on Amazon? Me neither! How exciting!

I hope you all have a great day doing whatever you decide to do, too!

Planks

Oo-wee, I’ve got an attitude today. I feel very right about something. Very very right. Which means someone else is very very wrong, and by golly, I want to be the one to tell them. In love, of course.

In love, with a whip of cords.

Yep. I am Jesus in this scenario. Which likely means I am NOT Jesus in this scenario.

So I should probably let this go and get on with something else. And that something else is to go wash dishes! Suds away!

Y’all have a good day.

10 Spare Pillows

Hey, O! Looks like I forgot to write and post yesterday. Whoopsie.

But I forgive me. On with today!

I watched a few decluttering videos last weekend and boy and I’m ready to clear some junk out of our house. How many pots and pans do I need? Not as many as I have! I’ve already got a few piles to take to my donation place today. It makes me so happy to “reduce my inventory.”

And speaking of our house. Today is 5 years in our new little place! Downsizing was so good for us. It still feels like I’m living in a vacation condo. I can clean the entire place in one day and not feel dead! The blank canvas of a yard has been a joy to fill with plants.

But something feels a little empty… I feel like I need a new BIG project. I do have large quilts I’m working on that will take me at least a year to finish… But I’m talking about a big before-and-after project…. Well, if I keep my eyes open I’m sure it will show up. Last year it was helping with a church remodel. Big fun!

Well, I’m open and available for whatever is coming next. Meanwhile, I’ve got closets to clean out!

Y’all have a great day!

Chocolate Silk Pie

I’ve got that nagging, pressing, itching feeling to tell people what they should do today. Grown up people. People who don’t need or want you to tell them what they should do.

It’s a powerful feeling.

And it assumes a lot.

It assumes that I am right, that others are wrong; that I know best, that others do not.

I’m going to try something different today. I’m going to see what happens if I don’t express my opinion or try to steer or slant the conversation so they will see it “my way.”

But once the decision is made, and assuming it will go the way I think it will (read – Not my way!) I may have to mention a warning if it seems important. But even then I will need to let it go and mind my own business.

I actually read that today in the Bible. “Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your own hands,…” 1 Thess 4:11a.

I like that kind of ambition! Lead a quiet life! That’s an ambition I can get behind. I don’t have a lot of ambition in a lot of areas of my life. Never did. But ambition to live a quiet life sounds sweet. It’s like I just found out that my dream job is exactly what God wants me to do. Silky sweet!

Okay, so my first job today is to mind my own business, and the second is to get busy with those Christmas crafts I’ve been enjoying. Okay… if I must. 😉