Morning Thoughts with Alice, #15

Waiting for inspiration is like waiting for …. beats me. I’m not inspired enough to make a comparison. So I’ll just tell you what I’m planning for the day.

My sister is coming up and is going to help me move a few boxes out of the basement and maybe do a few other things. These are the boxes that I don’t know what to do with. They are the boxes that get to the heart of who I am and how I feel: My kids’ stuff.

It’s the stuff my kids want (or may want) to keep, that I don’t have any room for and that they aren’t settled enough to get. The mom in me that wants to take it all over to the new house and decide about it later. The wife in me that says it’s not fair to clutter up the new home with old home things. The just plain me wants to have it settled and have everybody happy. Then there’s their father, who may or may not be able to take some of the stuff. But how would his wife feel about that? My chest is getting tight just thinking about all the people involved here. All because of some boxes.

Most likely, these boxes are more important to me than to anybody else.

And I imagine it would be very easy for me to make decisions about your “boxes” and for you to make decisions about mine. Like I said, it gets to the heart of what I care about, and how I love people, right or wrong. Perhaps it reveals how I feel responsible for other’s happiness or misery? Hmmm…

Exhale.

It will happen. The boxes will be dealt with and without renting a storage unit! That would just be postponing what needs to be done. And besides those things are stupid expensive.

Anyway, my sister, the slave driver, will help spur me on today. I will remind her (kindly, I hope) that it’s very easy to toss away things you aren’t emotionally invested in – when you aren’t afraid you are going to do the wrong thing. Keep or toss? Keep or toss? Every item requires a decision. And if keep, who keeps it? I don’t know. But I’ll be glad for help and encouragement she’ll bring with her today.

In truth, we’re just talking about stuff… not the people themselves. Tossing their things isn’t tossing the people. And keeping their things means… well more work.. but for some things it will be worth it. But which things? I don’t know yet.

Okay. There it is. There’s my day. If you think about it would you pray for me to have wisdom, courage, and strength to finish the job of downsizing. I’m tired.

Thank you. This has helped.

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