The Bank Calls

An analogy

The bank calls.  Your account isn’t looking good. They say it looks like you are losing money, as if there is a security breach somewhere.  They want to run some diagnostics.

They run diagnostics. A few days go by.

The bank calls. “Yes, you are losing money.  We want to run more diagnostics.”

You ask, “How much money?  Ten dollars?  A thousand dollars?  All my money?” They say they aren’t sure yet.  But after they run more diagnostics they will get back to you.

“When will I know?” you ask.  “By Monday.” they say.  It’s Tuesday.  You sigh. You Google “losing money.” It could be any number of things. Or nothing. You sigh some more.

After a few days you remember you can look at your account balance on-line.  So you log-in and see that an update was just made and all the money is there. Yay! So you call the bank and tell them you looked at your account on-line and could see there was an updated scan and that all the money is there.  The clerk says the banker wants to wait to talk to you about it until after they receive all the results and post their findings to your account.

You wait.  Do you have all your money, like the account now shows?  You check your bank account every day.  No new diagnostics posted.

What gives?  Are you broke?  Are you only down a few hundred?  Or is there no security breach at all?

You wait.  You worry.  You try not to worry.  You find out how exhausting trying not to worry is. You stink at it.  You feel like a faithless failure at not worrying.

Monday comes.  No call from the bank.

Tuesday comes.  You call the bank.  They take a message.

Tuesday afternoon comes.  The clerk calls.  “Oh, it looks like everything is fine.  Never mind.”

You are relieved, and a little confused.  “So I didn’t lose any money?”

“Well, it looks fine now.”

“Good.  Can I talk to the banker about it?”

“You want to talk to the banker?”

“Yes.  I have a few questions.”

“I’ll let her know.”

You hang up.  You are relieved, but annoyed.  “What just happened?” “Was there ever a security threat?” “Will I get to talk to the banker?”  “Why haven’t any new results posted to my account?”  You accept that you may never get answers.

Emotionally, it’s complicated.  You are glad for the good news and are very thankful.  And at the same time you will allow the annoyance you feel to run its course because,  well … it’s there.  And it may be more real than whatever was going on in your bank account.

But most of all, you marvel at the complexity of the human experience, at the range and combinations of emotions it brings, and yes, you even marvel at the miracles and limitations of banking.

The End.

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