I don’t wanna know.

You know me, always asking questions. Sometimes I’m like a four year old. Especially if I haven’t had my nap. But there are a lot of things I don’t want to know. I don’t want to be able to say to someone who has lost a child, “I know just how you feel.” I don’t want that experience. Let me be forever ignorant! And if that means I can’t fully empathize and offer greater comfort, I’m okay with that.

Another thing I don’t want to know – what it’s like to go through a serious illness. I don’t want to be anybody’s hero. I don’t want to have to show the world “how very brave” I am (or how very weak). I would rather have non-greatness with no suffering than be a great woman who inspires the world with her patience and faith. I don’t want to be that person. I don’t want to be that kind of great.

But the thing is, we don’t get to choose what suffering we will or will not face.

Yeah, I’m waiting on a phone call. One of “those” phone calls. Doctor finds a thing, doctor does tests, doctor takes her own sweet time to call you back.

As is usually the case, it will probably be nothing. But the waiting isn’t fun, as most of you know from having to face this kind of thing before. In that I can say, it’s good to know you’re not alone.

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One Response to I don’t wanna know.

  1. postalice says:

    Update: I’m fine. Just the usual stuff everybody has to deal with!

    Something I’ve realized: You get through one set of tests, but you’re never done! There’s always something else around the corner. Unless you die, of course.

    That’s me. Always looking at the bright side. 🙂

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